Notably, rejection can lead to emotional distress, sadness, or depression. It can affect one’s self-esteem and confidence level. These psychological effects of rejection may degenerate into more complicated problems in one’s life if not taken care of. How do we help children deal with rejection? BETTY AMUKPO takes on some children on how they handle rejection. Excerpts:
‘Don’t allow rejection to define you’
Rejection is a source of pain mostly when we are being rejected by our family, loved ones and community. Before we kill ourselves because of rejection, we should remember Jesus was rejected by His own people. Jesus understands our pains and shares in our burden. He endured all forms of rejection for our sake. Jesus redeemed us from rejection, by taking it upon himself to redeem us. Psalm 27:10 says if my mother and father hate me. The Lord will never hate.
Causes of rejection
1. Neglect and abuse from parents: Growing up with a parent who is emotionally unavailable can cause strong fear of rejection in the life of a growing child/children.
2. Sensitivity experience: Individual who experience rejection may face strong emotional pain, anger, sadness, social isolation and self injury.
How to deal with rejection
1. Don’t allow rejection to define you.
2. Recognise that rejection is part of life.
3. Treat yourself with compassion.
4. Accept what happened in good faith.
5. Stay healthy. By faith, we accept that God’s word is true and everything must be held to the fire of truth.
• Chima Anita.
‘Place yourself in a positive, nurturing environment’
The worst way to cope with rejection is to deny it. The longer you delude yourself by claiming it doesn’t matter, the harder it will be to overcome the pain and disappointment. Don’t let rejection stop you from trying again. Lean on a support system and the people you love. Avoid rumination tantrums and instead affirm your self-worth. Realise why rejection hurts so much. Practice self-care and place yourself in a positive, nurturing environment. Take some time to process your emotions as you come to Him the living Stone rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to Him (1 Peter 2:4).
• Awaki Barnabas
‘I will examine my thoughts and ensure a positive outlook’
Rejection is the opposite of acceptance. When such happens, the first thing I do is to try and calm down, though sad because at first, my spirits were lifted up and brought down quickly. So, it makes me angry and it can take over my emotions, and I think of happy moments to take me off the rejection. Not everyone will accept you or your beliefs. Below are some of the steps that I usually take whenever I experience rejection, like when a friend refuses to play or go out with me; a classmate refuses to share notes with me or they refuse to select me as a class leader. 1. I will examine my thoughts and ensure a positive outlook. It’s natural to wonder, “Why did this happen?” I usually give myself an explanation, and stick to the facts. I do not indulge in self-blaming or put-down thinking to avoid exaggeration. Ì always tell myself, ‘it is not the end of the world.’ It also gives me an opportunity to do things differently. I do not allow rejection to affect my focus. Even our Lord Jesus Christ was rejected, eventually he became the great cornerstone. Romans 8; 20 says that all things work together for good.
• Ebubechukwu Chinedu
‘Our worth is not determined by others’ opinions, but by our relationship with God’
Dealing with rejection can be tough, but the Bible reminds us that we are loved and accepted by God. Romans 8:38-39 states that nothing can separate us from the love of God. We can find comfort in knowing that our worth is not determined by others’ opinions, but by our relationship with Him.
• Emmanuel Iwuoha
‘I don’t need to take rejection personally nor insult those that rejected me, I pray for them’
I handle rejection by taking consolation from Jesus, who was also rejected by His own people. (John 1:11, 15:18, Isaiah 53:3). Jesus knows what it’s like to lose the love and support of a community, to feel unwelcome and rejected in a place that was once home. I don’t need to take rejection personally, no need to argue or insult those that rejected me, I pray for them and above all, be available to show them love whenever and wherever possible.
• Josephine Oluwakomih
‘I will handle rejection by praying to God to come to my aid’
As a child, I will handle rejection by praying to God to come to my aid. 1Peter 2:4 says, ” Come to the Lord, the living stone blockbuster by people as worthless, but chosen by God as valuable.” God listens to the cry of His children. He never sleeps nor slumbers.
• Obhakhan Theresa Ohin
‘We should get closer to Jesus if we feel rejected’
Rejection is the act of refusing to accept something or someone. Rejection is the cause of many problems among the youths and younger generation today. It can be in the form of exclusion from peer groups, cliques and even one’s family which can lead to depression, suicide, theft and other negative things. To overcome rejection, we have to accept that it is part of life. We must also know that God has a reason for us to be rejected. Maybe He has a greater assignment for us. We should get closer to Jesus if we feel rejected. The Bible says in 1 Peter 2:4-5; “As you come to Him the Living Stone, rejected indeed by man but chosen by God and precious to Him; you also like living stones are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy Priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
• Ifeanyichukwu Roderick Ogini.
‘Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, use rejection as an invitation to love’
St. Thomas Aquinas says that love desires the greatest good for the beloved. That definition of love can be tested in the face of rejection. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, use rejection as an invitation to love. Rejection is difficult no matter the circumstance in which it comes. As a believer in Jesus, in one way or another, I have faced rejection for the commitment to follow Christ. Our Lord Himself said, “If the world hated him, it is not surprising that the world hates us.” (John 15:18-21). If we are faithfully living out the Christian life and proclaiming the gospel with our words, we are sure to encounter rejection. In spite of this and other assurances from scripture, many of us still shy away from evangelism for fear of being rejected. So what do we do when unbelievers reject the gospel we proclaim to them? Do you walk away? But their eternal souls are at stake. Do not push the conversation harder? We need to have a plan for what we do when the gospel we preach is rejected. Responding well to rejection requires discernment, grace and practice. But it should motivate us to remember that we too once rejected the gospel and that our eyes opened only by the grace of God. Our prayer is that God would open the lost, around us as well
• Ojimmadu Sandra
