As part of its efforts to tackle challenges and foster unity in the family, the Family and Human Life Unit (FHLU) of the Catholic Archdiocese of Lagos, organised a oneday conference to equip marriage facilitators with the relevant skills and knowledge to amicably resolve marital issues. The seminar with the theme, “That we may be one” which brought together men and women working in the area of marriage preparation, parenting, character education, pro-life, among others, was held recently at St. Anthony Catholic Church, Gbaja, Surulere, Lagos.
Dame Bridget Itsueli, FHLU Coordinator, said the conference aims at sharing new ideas with the facilitators; from a philosophical, societal, spiritual and personal point of view, especially the unity between husbands and wives, children and their parents, as well as the postmodern issues that are disturbing families, and the spiritual realities that would help deal with them. She said in the present time, children do not feel linked to the parents, and do not tell them (parents) before taking important actions and decisions, adding that husbands do not tell wives things, as wives do not tell husbands, leading to disunity in the family.
According to her, “What’s happening now in social media is when there is no authority. When there is no love, children gravitate towards curiosity and the things that interest them, which may not necessarily be the best thing, to be honest.” She said, “You cannot buy unity, but work at it; and it becomes you. It enters your blood, if it doesn’t, you can’t be united. So, it’s hard work, it’s strategy; a plan and a programme for building unity in the family.” Rev. Fr. Oscar Obi, Director, Lay Apostolate, Archdiocese of Lagos, emphasised on the need to establish open communication where each member of the family feels heard and valued, through active listening, as individuals are allowed to express their feelings without interruption or judgement.
Stating that family is everything, Fr. Obi said when we get it right in the family, the Church, community, state, and nation is blessed and united. Speaking on “Marital unity in postmodern times,” Prof. Anthony Okere said postmodernisation which promotes multiplicity, relativism and questioning authority, has impacted everything, as it deconstructs and destroys tradition. Prof. Okere noted that in the postmodern age, knowledge is no longer the pursuit for truth and ethical formation, adding that here, knowledge is like a commodity that is produced and valued for its utility.
For his part, Very Rev. Msgr. Bernard Okodua, Parish Priest, St. Anthony Catholic Church and member, Archdiocesan Marriage Tribunal, Lagos Archdiocese, expressed sadness at the rate of applications for annulment of marriages, as he recommended longer period of courtship for intending couples. He commended the FLHU for helping to build decent and godly families, tasking Catholics to be prayerful and ensure that they build their homes to become places of love and unity.
