Why do we feel sad,
cold, threatened and
afraid at the mention
of death? This is a
rhetorical question as
I surely, do not expect anyone to dance
and leap for joy when they hear about the
subject of death and its inevitability. We
behave as if death is alien to us, and as if
it is something sinful and strange to die.
Some people do not want to hear anyone
talk about death. It scares them!
Ever since I had the opportunity of
attending two soul inspiring and life
changing seminars on Midlife Transition
and Conversion of Heart facilitated by Sr.
Mary Providentia Marinze, IHM, I left
the lane of those who are uncomfortable
with talking about death and thinking of
it. During the seminar I realized that many
people in the midlife often shy away from
talking about death. Sr. Marinze chal-
lenged me when she said she sometimes
contemplates the mystery and reality of
death during her alone time with God.
This has therefore made her to be more
conscious of the fact that she has to LET
GO of many things in order to LET GOD.
I also remember a friend of mine, Sr.
Helen Maris Oyekanmi who often says
she enjoys singing funeral songs. Indeed,
she has a passion for such songs. In fact,
she published a booklet of funeral songs
and scripture readings on death during the
silver jubilee anniversary of her religious
profession. I assisted her in getting some
famous quotes for her book, but in one
corner of my mind I was thinking that she
is weird for wanting such a souvenir for
the anniversary of her religious profession.
Seven years later, I too have reached the
stage of those who can talk freely about
death. Thanks to Sr. Providentia, the great
Clinical Psychologist! She is very thorough
and down to earth in her presentations.
Now, I wonder why we freely talk about
weddings, naming ceremonies, gradua-
tion, birthdays, etc, but we squirm once
someone talks about death. We have
forgotten that our death day was also
born the very day we were given birth to.
Death is something that is sure to happen
to every human being. It is just that we
cannot tell with absolute certainty the day
it will come, nor the exact venue it will
meet us.
Death cannot happen twice. No! It
comes once, and that is it! We need
courage to be able to face it. Some people
are really very much afraid of death. They
hate to attend funerals or see the body of a
dead person. The fact remains that death
is very much hanging around us and living
daily with us. It is not a respecter of age,
colour, height, gender, status, profession,
race, colour, tribe or religion. Death can
come in any form: through sickness,
accident, while sleeping, etc. It is not the
manner, form, place or time of death that
matter. Let us always remember that Jesus,
the Son of God died a ‘shameful’ death on
the cross at the young age of 33.
All the same, let us pray against sudden
and unprovided death. I am very thankful
to the Sisters in my community who
welcomed the idea when I suggested that
we should have our Bible Sharing for
the last Tuesday of February 2020 on the
subject of death. We used these passages
as our guide: 1 Corinthians 15:53-55, Ps
23:4, Rm 6:8-10, Thes 4:13-14. While
preparing for the faith and Bible sharing
I got a divine inspiration to add some
colour to it, that is, to be creative and
unique about it by writing the word death
in different languages. I also felt mandated
to surround the word death with a shining
and brighter marker to depict the fact that
after our earthly sojourn comes heavenly
bliss. After the pain of death comes the
gain of glory.
As I am not a Polyglot I asked some of
my friends to tell me the word used for
death in their various languages. Eighty
percent of those I asked were scared stiff
and expressed shock. They asked me, “Has
anyone died?”. A particular person quickly
placed a call to a neigbour of mine to find
out if everything is okay with me. He even
quickly called members of his own family
to ensure that they are alright. Well, this
only testifies to the fact that the subject
of death is still approached by many with
wariness and trepidation. However, I am
delighted that at the end of the whole
experience I got these new words added
to my register: Iku (Yoruba), Mutuwa
(Hausa), Onwu (Igbo), Mkpa (Efik), Ku
(Tiv), Ikwu 3 (Idoma), Wade (Fulani),
Ughwu (Urhobo), Egwi (Afemai), Ughu
(Esan/Edo), Uhu (Ora/Edo), Nmee (Kru
– Liberia), Ku (Ewe/Togo), Morte (Italian),
Mort (French), Muerte (Spanish), Tod
(German).
We often celebrate the death of elderly
people like a funfair as if only the elderly
and the terminally ill possess a valid
passport and visa to die. Let us be real
with ourselves and always prepare for
death by living good lives. We must be in
touch with the reality of death, and train
ourselves to be comfortable with talking
about death. And here comes the good
news that wipes away our insecurity and
fears. We believe what our Christian faith
teaches us, that is, death is only a passage
to a more glorious life.
Death is not an end in itself. It leads us
to another more glorious and beautiful
destination. This is why we strive to live
exemplary and virtuous life. We know too
that the souls of those who live good lives
(the righteous) are in the hand of God.
(Wis 3:1). Ash Wednesday is a very special
day in the Church’s liturgical calender. The
day calls us to repentance, penance and
death when the Priests put the ashes on
our foreheads and say, “Memento, homo
quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris”.
“Remember, man, you are dust and to dust
you shall return” (cf. Gn 3:19). I pray for
the grace of a happy death for myself, all
who are dear to me and you as you read
