In a bid to enhance peaceful co-existence in families and the society at large, Catholic organizations held a seminar last Sunday, November 6, 2022, to address conflicts and challenges that arise after the solemnization of the sacrament of Holy Matrimony. The event titled, “Post marriage solemnization challenges” organized by the Catholic Confraternity of Christian Fathers, in Conjunction with the Confraternity of Christian Mothers and Couples for Christ of Ss. Peter and Paul Catholic Church, Oke-Afa, Isolo, Lagos was handled by experts who proffered solutions to the challenges confronting the marriage vocation. Making his remarks, Dr. C. U. Chukwuneye, MD, Optimal Specialist Hospital, Gbaja, Surulere, and Chairman on the occasion called attention to the rise in cases of divorce within families, despite the fact that the Church has instituted the marriage classes, the family life and counseling unit among others. He noted that even the government has set up institutions to aid marriages to break up, as he added that they (government) never make any effort to resolve the issues, but rather encourage divorce. Sir Lawrence Ojemen speaking on communication urged couples to eschew the vice of lying in their union. According to him, “When we are looking at post marital challenges, I want you to ask our discussants what is the cause of lying and how can we prevent it.
It’s very important because for about two months now, persons have been coming to me to come and discuss this, come and share things with their members, and it all borders on lying. Please, it’s an issue I think we need to look at and discuss”. Lady (Barr.) Chiozoba Osamgbi, defined marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock which is culturally and legally accepted, adding that if it is not culturally accepted, it is no marriage. And that is why in African culture, there must be preliminary culture to marriage. Defining solemnization, she said in the Catholic Church, solemnizing our union is a sacred affair, adding that is why the Church has the Confraternity of Christian Mothers and Confraternity of Christian Fathers. Throwing more light on what good communication does in marriage, Osamgbi advised the husband and wife not to be mute but to talk always so as to know each other’s mind. She advised each person in the marriage on the need to sacrifice for the other for a successful union, as she added a couple must always respect each other and avoid overstepping boundaries.
She urged the couple, especially the wife to support the spouse (husband) and not wear them out by expecting them to carry all the financial responsibility of the family. Rev. Fr. Paschal Aggrey, Liaison Officer, Lagos Inter-Diocesan Tribunal, Isolo Deanery explained that for a successful union, couples have to come to mutual understanding; mutual love and trust for each other, as he urged them to look at the good side of each other at all times. Advising couples to approach marriage spiritually and not socially, Fr. Aggrey informed them that marriage enables them to get unlimited grace of God to live good lives. He asked intending couples not to rush things, but to go step by step according to Church law of preparation, especially as it concerns the six months’ preparation period which he said is a time for them to observe and find out things about each other. He stressed on the need for couples to acquire the essential virtues for the life of matrimony which include faithfulness, truthfulness, humility, love, forgiveness among others. Recalling that only female children are groomed to become good wives and mothers, the priest advised parents to also groom their male children to become good husbands and fathers.
