“When one with honeyed words but evil mind persuades the mob, great woes befall the state.” – Euripides
“You will find Nigeria a very interesting country” wrote P. Nwadike, “if you have the right mix of narcissism, sarcasm and sadism.” The unveiling of Senator Kashim Shettima as the Vice Presidential candidate of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) in the forthcoming 2023 general election threw up yet another scathing cocktail of sarcasm and sadism. Some great men of letters in sacred science like Thomas Aquinas had argued that no sin of lying exists alone. It has multiple subsets of itself trying to cover the primordial cause. To cover the sin of lying, man blows more lies. It was likened to digging holes to fill a hole. The practical dimension of this theological theory was seen last midweek at the Shehu Yar’dua Centre Abuja, venue for the unveiling. For more than seven days to that event, criticism had trailed the choice of Sen. Kashim, a Muslim northerner as running mate for Bola Tinubu, another Muslim faithful from the South, in a premeditated same faith ticket.
Apparently, aware of the public backlash and how the controversy generated was already depleting their electoral credibility, which has ab initio been manifestly depreciating, APC made the smart move to cover their deceit with another round of deceit. First they flaunted a sham statement of endorsement by Catholic Archbishop of Abuja, His Grace, Most. Rev. I. Kaigama, but when their lies were blown open, they hatched a more egregious scandal. They allegedly made costume of Christian (Catholic) prelates and hired artisans from the street to adorn them and impersonate Bishops at the occasion. It was their third frantic effort to drum validation for their awkward candidatures from the Christian sects. But their deceit was too raw and bare to pass the test of naked eye. The impostors and their handlers didn’t do their homework well. The costumier did nasty job. And the director of the movie was so ordinary, the public easily spotted the difference. All the crew members forgot that we’re in social media age. They also missed the right Christian denomination to mimic.
They choose the Catholic church with its sophisticated ecclesial orthodoxy. They forgot that it has one of the most time-tested organized decorum that takes one at least twelve years of consistent seminary formation to blend with. The Catholic church is not new to such bogus usurpation of its ministerial regalia by double-dealers. But it always boomerangs. On Monday March 04, 2013, during pre-conclave meetings for the election of new pope following the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI, a man dressed in faux ecclesiastical robes was escorted out of a meeting of Catholic cardinals by Swiss Guards after trying to sneak into a closed-door Vatican meeting. The man, whose real name is Ralph Napierski, introduced himself to reporters as “Basilius” and said he was a member of the “Italian Orthodox Church”, which does not exist. He was wearing a purple scarf around his waist that was similar to the sashes worn by senior Catholic prelates, and he shook hands and chatted with priests and cardinals arriving at the meeting. Security guards say they realised he was an imposter because his purple sash was too short and he was wearing a black fedora.
And that was the time Roman Catholic cardinals from around the world were about to start a week of closed-door meetings before choosing a successor to Pope Benedict XVI. It is usually during the talks that they decide the opening date for the conclave where the new pontiff is elected. And the man attempted hacking the whole process, but found how hard a nut it was to crack the esoteric ancient protocol.
CONTINUES NEXT WEEK
• Jude Eze is a Lagos based Medical Laboratory Scientist, Columnist and Public affairs Analyst. He can be reached on 08099062006 (WhatsApp/sms only). ezejudeogechi@gmail.com
